Lately i've been too happy living my life..
and i don't know why??
life seems to be so perfect this few days..
I've been having all things that i exactly want...
The ViP ticket to Greyson chance live in 1b,
just hoping get the standing ticket, but i get more than wht i want..
and
things just going on to what i've planned..
it's simply like that,
Untill i know abt the saddest news ever...
i start crying n crying non stop..
my first pet that i've been taking care of since jan 2011 is now gone..
I feel so guilty inside...
it's maybe happen becoz of my words..
and it is...
Mimi can't give birth,
and the kitten inside is dead..
so
mimi need to get surgery to take out all the dead kitten..
it's must be painful,
she can't bear it..
i've got a phone call today...
from my liltle sister,
she's crying...
and my mom says,
u cannot be like that..
it's just a cat...
and i feel so blank at a moment..
so i just randomly says that, she might be just sleeping..
but my mom says that..she is dead..
my mood is not good,
so i just gone to sleep..
i'm crying so bad tdy..
it's not just a cat..
she's something to me..
i love her so so much..
and i'm so sad now that she's gone..
i can't even watch her ...
I miss Mimi so bad...
 i don't know what else i've to say...
 because of the happy moment i have the few days..
i forget to care about the other important things in my life..
coz in my thought...
things might be end up in a good way..
and it's not...
she's part of the family now,
my dad who had this cold heart also love her..
tht's why,.....
 i love her so so much...
she change all the mood in my house..
my mom was against me at the first time, but she's the one who keep buying food to MIMI>.< (
An' must be so sad rite now, she's the one who taking care of mimi since i start working here
losing something that u care so much is really sad...
so sad ...

19.11.2011

i might crying all night thinking of her...
it's a sad day ever..
:((

Don't wake up alone on saturday morning..

Your life is changing in small, important ways every day. The structure is no longer holding, no longer able to stay glued together, so certain things are having to leave you when you’re asleep. They’re so quiet, so considerate when they abandon you, that I bet you don’t even notice.

They call this growing up, or something similar to it. You wake up on a Saturday morning and realize everything has become unrecognizable to you. When did this happen? Oh right, when you were sleeping. They came in at night and started to peel things away from you like an orange. They were careful not to cut the center, they were careful not to let any juice drip on the bedspread your mother bought for you. They wanted your life to look familiar to you, didn’t want to shock you completely, so they kept some things intact. Some things, not everything. Guess what’s gone? Wrong. Guess again.

You woke up on a Saturday and came to the sudden realization that you were all alone, that everything you had surrounded yourself with Monday through Friday, all the happy hours and all the business lunches and all those technological noises you drenched your earbuds in: it all added up to zero. You feel like a fool, don’t you? You played the game like everyone asked you to and still managed get to this place of complete and utter loneliness and alienation. Where did you go wrong? Do you need to send another text message to someone? Do you need to pay another credit card off or have another Great Night Out? What can you do to feel more connected to the things around you?

How did this all happen when you were sleeping? How did you manage to sleep through everyone else getting married and having kids and starting meaningful careers? You were asleep and now you’re awake but it’s too late. Everyone else has figured out their life and now you’re just alone on a Saturday morning and that’s it. This is it. Never fall asleep again.

>,< outing with misha & mala again...

spend just few hours 2gether, 

but it's worth...

I'm happy to meet them,

and as usual, 

we talk about how we used to be in the past..

I miss the past ...

and now, we living in our different path..

but we still keep in touch..

F.R.I.E.N.D

enjoy the IMMORTALS movie..

worth to watch..

no regrets..

and because of lack of knowledge

it make me want to know more..

so i google abt it..

Zeus.

God of sky, greek mitos..:)

then 

aftr tht, 

Pizza hut time..

ehm delicious..:)

i wnt to spend misha, 

but i forgot my money at home..

so misha end up to add rm 5..sad :(

next, 

watch another movie wit mala,

TOWER HEIST..

we're late..

d movie is funny..

that's all for today..

weird, still not sleepy ..

keep downloading songs..

ah..

will be a panda tomoloooo..

aiyo...

HAppY sunday GUYs..

:)

L.i.F.e

Creating a quiet mind

life

isn't about keeping score.

It's not about ...

how many people call you, and it's not about who you've dated, are dating..

or haven't dated at all..

It's isn't about which guy or girl likes you, what sports you play, who you have kissed.

It's not about your hair and the color of your skin or where you live and where you go to school.

In fact, it's also not about grades, money, clothes or colleges that accept you or not.

Life isn't about if you have a lot of friends, or if you are alone

and it's not about 

how accepted and unaccepted you are.

LIFE JUST ISN'T ABOUT THAT.

BUT

LIFE

is about who you love and who you hurt,

it's about how you feel about yourself,

how you think about others.

It's about trust, happiness, and compassion.

IT'S ABOUT...

STICKING UP FOR YOUR FRIENDS
AND REPLACING INNER HATE TO LOVE..

-NA-

this is what i learned on a special day..

Live is short, LIVE IT.

Love is rare, GRAB IT.

Anger is bad, DUMB IT.

Fear is awful, FACE IT.

Memories are sweet, CHERISH IT.

♥ 11.11.11 ♥

♥ 11.11.11 ♥

How could i be so lucky

I must've done something right..

                                                            -rest of my life-

The date was so nice...

Wishing something good happen on that date...

:)

this is the latest of me :)

I smile, and i like it..

will smile like this much more ...

little update with me..

Jobs is ok now, 

better :) click..

Life, 

same as usual, 

learn many things in a day..

and 

thnks god 4 keeps accompanying me..

Friend..

not less but not increase too...

but sure i get to know many ppl with different stories of their own..

 Family,

miss them soooooo much, 

Feel guilty inside, but i'll make sure nxt month will not b the same..

Love,

still in the waiting line..LOLx

geeettttinnng close with my colleagues..

and my day is full of colours nowadays..

last sunday, 

go to sacred heart church with Aemmy, 

and being there make my heart feel so calm..

i like everything i heard ..

and 

God's is so kind, and i love him so much..<3

Gods i had this worries inside of me, 

and i can't really say it..

but i know u know abt it..

so help me figure it out God, 

help my heart and mind to think wisely..

Help me from getting in the dark side of me..

:)

today..

11.11.11

i'll make it a special day..

not waiting for something good to happen..

but i'll make it happen with my own way..

:)

so guys, enjoy yr day..

be thankful..

God bless u..

Spread the LOVE..

i am stunnnnnnneddd...

i don't know 

what they think and talk about

but

 i want to know what they think and talk about so badly..

this 

"curiosity"

i have in me, scared me to death...

I have this personality..

i'm the person who care so much of what ppl might think or  talk about me..

i just care although,.. i alwys tell myself not to..

And this person i just know, 

somehow open my eyes and mind too..

the way she talk, surprised me a little..

"what position u r ,now"

cashier..

thn, why don't help me with the works..

...

i just so shocked of wht i just heard..

and it's make me blur for a moment...

i just know this person for a while....

and she's out of my league..

i'm not a very 100% good girl too..

but

..........

i can't say that i'm better than her, 

only god knows the answer..

but....

i don't think she have the right to say that...

i'm doing
my best too..

when i'm busy with the work..

u.....

just playing n talking with others..

and now, 

u complained...

oh SH*T

i 'm not angry,

but the scene kept repeating in my mind..

and it make me feel very2 not in a good mood...

i never once complained abt u, 

haizzzz...

lord, u make me meet diff. type of person only in this two months

the friends' i just knows

talk abt this and that...

when i was wit them,

they talk about the other side..

and 

when i was with the other side..

they do the same..

and 

whenever i hear their stories..

i alwys praying that..

i'll stayed as the same me ..

i will just listen and stay quiet..

i don't wish to change,,

but i'm afraid that i change to be one of them , ...

slowly without i notice it myself..

"Don't just judge ppl the way u see them, coz if u do, they'll judge u the same way u judge them." 

i don't knw..

why oh why..

i judge ppl..

i know tht me myself..

no good, nor perfect..

but i still

judging ppl...st*pid me..

the true friend is hard to find..

and i'm grateful enough to have at least 7 of  them..

but still..

when i have a happy and sad news to share...

none of this any seven ppl i can call ..

 i end up calling my sister..

maybe i just had a bad luck in friendship..

dear ****

i  am waiting for yr reply..

it's been a week..

wish we can be 2gether like before..

god didn't even fulfilled my first bday wish 

so i hope he will let my scnd wish come true...

pls...

the world is coming to an end..

God, please let me have peace in my heart..

let me accept everything ..

i really want to be A good person..

so help me..

and whenever i'm angry..

or pissed with wht othr ppl do..

whisper this to me..

"gene, it's ok..smile and let it go"

maybe i end up ..whisper it to myself on my own..

but i know it's all happen becoz u always next to me..

like always..

God , pls guide me..

:)

walking in my adventure

Some time having a job feels like curse, but not having a job would probably

feel more worse...

Lyrics | Mymp lyrics - Say You Love Me lyrics

Tsk...tsk..tsk..

  sad news...

seriously i'm so so sad..

but i know i'm not the only one who get hurt .

maybe

she's crying now,

i wish u r okey..

and let's try again next time..

God will not let us down,

maybe he's just testing us now..

so pls don't be sad..

god,

help me to learn faster in everything i'm abt to learn..

help me to control my anger..

and 

help me to be me ..

“Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won’t know for twenty years. And you’ll never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it’s what you create. Even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but doesn’t really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope for something good to come along. Something to make you feel connected, to make you feel whole, to make you feel loved.”

—	Charlie Kaufman

White mind

“You may think the past has something to tell you. You may think that you should listen, should strain to make out its whispers, should bend over backward, stop down low to hear its voice breathed up from the ground, from the dead places. You may think there’s something in it for you, something to understand or make sense of. 

But I know the truth: I know from the nights of coldness. I know the past will drag you backward and down, have you snatching at whispers of wind and the gibberish of trees rubbing together, trying to decipher some code, trying to piece together what was broken. Its hopeless. The past is nothing but a weight. It will build up inside of you like a stone. 

Take it from me, if you hear the past speaking to you, feel it tugging at your back and running its fingers up your spine, the best thing to do —the only thing— is run.”

—	Lauren Oliver, Delirium